“Being nice is what got us into this mess!” How many times have you heard that, in regards to socio-cultural issues or even in interpersonal interactions? Interestingly, ‘nice’ originally meant ‘foolish’. So we could say, “being foolish is what got us into this mess”. And isn’t that usually how we always get into messes, big or small? We were foolish, we lacked discernment. Yes, that is true. But that is not what is usually meant by those who cast shade upon being “nice”. What they mean is, we were too tolerant, too accommodating of people who would manipulate our good intentions for evil ends, and look where it got us.
It is understandable, having had our empathy and compassion weaponised against us for ends that are ultimately aimed at the destruction of everything good in the world, that many people, desiring to protect and preserve what little goodness remains, would become hesitant of empathy and compassion in general. As the saying goes, “fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.”
However, this has had the unfortunate effect of hardening the hearts of many people, perhaps due to some form of PTSD from culture war fatigue. Like a shellshocked veteran, they are ready to fight at the slightest ‘noise’, regardless of whether or not it is appropriate to do so. As a result, while they correctly understand that it is no longer wise to allow the enemy to exploit our good natures, they do not understand that that frame of reference isn’t appropriate in personal, individual interactions. There is a difference between the collective enemy that one meets on the battlefield and the individual soldiers you play soccer with on Christmas Eve. That is, there is a time and a place for treating someone as a combatant versus treating someone as a human being.
As I have been working on the research for my next Revolt Against the Modern World episode on chivalry, I have had the pleasure of delving into medieval and Oriental literature on the knightly traditions and what it meant to be part of the warrior caste in that era. Closely bound up in knighthood were concepts of honour, duty, prowess… but also good manners.
Within the samurai tradition of Japan, warriors followed the moral code of bushido, which had an extremely elaborate system of etiquette and politeness and grace were paramount in their education. Even today, visitors to Japan observe the culture of courtesy that is interwoven throughout Japanese life.
The capacity for benevolence, affection, pity, sympathy, and love for others was considered among the supreme virtues of the soul of the samurai, but this had to be tempered with objectivity— a mercy that was not simply an emotional impulse, but that had due regard for Justice (in the higher sense of the Law from Above), and where that mercy could be backed by action if necessary.
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